


Ghost of you

by curiouscat99



Category: Kingdom (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, IDK BRO, M/M, Other, flangst, honten, kingdom - Freeform, ouhon x mouten, shaaaaaaaaaaaaame, shin x sei, shinsei, there is smut, why is there no tag for hyou??, キングダム, 政信 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiouscat99/pseuds/curiouscat99
Summary: "If Hyou is alive, would you still love me?" Sei wants to ask but the words never escaped his lips. For once, he is afraid that Shin’s answer is something he would not be able to bear.Set before Western Zhou Invasion Arc.
Relationships: Ei Sei | Ying Zheng/Shin | Xin, Mou Ten | Meng Tian | Ou Hon | Wang Ben
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	Ghost of you

**Author's Note:**

> I recently joined the Kingdom fandom and well...guess what? yes, I ship shin x sei and fell harder than I expected lol. I see there aren't many fics of this golden ship and here's my contribution. Gosh I love these two so much.
> 
> I apologize in advance for the lack of, uh, proofreading? what's that xD 
> 
> Set before Western Invasion Arc.

It is a dream cascading to reality like a drop of water pouring down the sky, washing the blood-soaked land of the warring states, yet instead of clearing the path, the dream, perhaps a nightmare, made him doubt reality, made him question what is true and what is not, made him wonder his worth. It feels too real, too real to ignore, or even be forgotten. It happened one night, after the usual tiring day of convocation left and right, the King of Qin went to his bed to retire. From the moment his back hit the bed, his body gave in. Before he knew it, he entered a parallel universe, a dream where everything restarted from the moment he met Shin.

Shin is supposed to be in the front lines with his unit. It’s been months since they last saw each other but after talking to Shouheikun about their plan to invade Gyou, they immediately sent messengers to the three young commanders who will be their assets in the future invasion. Sei is skeptical about it, knowing how difficult a task it would be, but he trusts Shouheikun and he trusts his men and moreso, he trusts Shin. 

The dream started in the throne room with him sitting on the same throne he fought his brother with years ago. Sei hears a faint murmur from the chattering of his officials. Shoubunkun is saying something he couldn’t quite get, his face is blurry but Sei is sure that it is him. He found himself alone all of a sudden with only his throne to accompany him, the people including Shoubunkun are gone. Yes, it is a dream, he is aware that he is still dreaming.

“My King,”

It is a voice he can vividly remember and a voice that he never thought he would hear again. Sei’s eyes widen and in front of him, there stand, Hyou. 

“H-Hyou?”

Hyou smiles at him, the same tender smile he once had. But unlike in the past, Hyou, just like him, seems to be older. He wears the same armor just like a Qin warrior.

Sei eyes at him tenderly with a hint of regret. He never told anyone about it, not even Shin, but Sei felt a chunk of remorse on Hyou’s death since he’s the very reason why his body double is no longer a part of this world. But even if this is a dream, he is happy to once again see him and so he decided to do what he failed to do; thank him, thank him for his sacrifice and ultimately thank him for meeting and knowing Shin.

“Hyou I…” just when the King of Qin stands and is about to speak with Hyou, another figure arrives.

“Yo! Sei,” Shin grins and confidently stands next to Hyou. He wraps his arm around him and they start bickering about some battle they have been through. Sei watches them, half confused and half grateful. How he hopes that the scene next to him is the reality but he knows that this is not the case.

However, there is something in the way that Shin looks at Hyou. The way he touches him and stares at him so caringly, it is..

The same way he treats Sei.

As the realization daunts him, hundreds of what-ifs and maybes struck Sei in an instant. What if Hyou didn’t die? Would Shin look at him the same way he does? Would Shin ever love him if Hyou is around? 

And then everything turned dark with only the three of them left. Sei wonders and freezes as Shin and Hyou turned around and bid a goodbye walking hand in hand. 

“Wait-” He steps forward, attempting to reach them, attempting to chase them, attempting to stop them. _Why? Why are you stopping them? They are happy, leave them alone._ Hyou is happy being alive, Shin is happy being with Hyou..

_Being with Hyou.._

_Not you._

A voice inside his head taunts him.

It is as if the ghosts of his past came running back and smashed his heart and soul to bits, leaving him with nothing but his empty shell. He has been alone, so alone that he hopes there is someone who could be with him all the time, someone who would willingly protect him from the pain of yesterday and the nightmare of his past, someone who could make him believe that he is worthy to be loved, a love that he’s been craving since the day he was born. Shin arrived through Hyou. But now even him is being pulled away from him also by Hyou. He has Shoubunkun but he is different from Shin. The love he has for him could not be compared to anyone.

The ground breaks and it eats him whole, falling into a cycle of bottomless darkness. He is alone, so alone. 

Again.

“Shin!” 

Sei wakes up panting heavily from a dream that turned to a nightmare.

* * *

Something is off.

As he arrives at the rooftop together with Ten, they are greeted not by Sei but by Mouten and Ouhon. Well, it’s not that Sei invited them directly to Kanyou but any orders from their superiors are with the approval of the King himself. That being said, Shin expected to see Sei first.

Mouten is the first to greet him, or rather, he first noticed Mouten and then Ouhon. Altogether, they wonder what could be the reason why they are summoned in the palace until Shoubunkun and Shouheikun arrive to pick them up. 

The two older higher-ups walk side by side and Shin quickens his steps to catch up.

“By the way, didn’t Sei say anything? Ya know, meeting me later?”

Shoubunkun glances at him questioningly but it is more of he is asking the same thing. “No, his majesty hasn't said anything.”

“Eh?” Shin tilts his head and pouts in disappointment. “That’s weird, but I can always visit him after. Right Ten?!” he turns to look at Ten who has no idea what he is talking about. 

Shoubunkun grunts. “You idiot, the King is busy and should not be disturbed without his permission!” the older man scolds. Shin only sticks his tongue out. Knowing him, he already devised a plan to sneak inside the King’s office.

When they arrived at the conference room, Mouki, Mouten’s brother, is there with the strategic tools needed to prepare for war. The plan to attack Gyou is unveiled causing distress to the newcomers.

“Gyou?!” Shin shrieks with furrowed eyebrows. “Wait, where’s that?” as expected from the number one idiot of Qin.

Mouten says he knows Shin is about to say it and proceeds to point where the city in question is located through the map. While the group continues to argue and tackle the plan to invade Gyou and the possibilities that they might encounter, the door creaks open and Shin is the first one to notice the familiar presence.

“Before you delve into the strategy in-depth, I’d like to add something myself,” Sei enters and the other two young commanders scramble to their feet to kneel. Shin had a moment of surprise before following Mouten and Ouhon’s actions.

The King touches their shoulders. “No need to kneel, I’d like you to listen while we stand on equal terms.” 

As expected from the King of Qin, he raised their morals by saying this is just the first obstacle they will face in taking all of China. Anyhow, the first step has never been easy. Sei ended his little speech by saying the young commanders should not die in the battle, at least not yet, until they all together became generals.

Feeling proud like always, Shin smirks and puts his arms around Mouten and Ouhon’s neck and grins at Sei.

“No need to worry Sei! The three of us are gonna kick their asses so hard they won’t know what hit them!”

For the first time since he enters the room, Sei lands his gaze on Shin but it somehow feels different than usual and it is not lost on Shin.

“I leave it in your hands, Shin.”

The minuscule moment of wondering that something is off about Sei today makes him fail to see Ouhon’s elbow coming right through his rib.

“Don’t touch me!” Ouhon growls and Shin snarls back.

“Ouhon you little--”

Karyo Ten voices out her concern regarding the supreme commander and Shouheikun tells them who they unanimously chose for the position. However, Shin’s focus is on another man in the room as Sei continues to avoid his eyes.

* * *

All of them go to their separate ways after the gathering. Shin and Ten separate for the meantime as she decided to help Mouki and their sensei on improving the logistic strategy. 

“Sei!” Shin chases the King who is together with Shoubunkun in the hallway. 

“Shin, we have something to attend right now and--”

“It’s fine, Shoubunkun.” Sei cuts him off, still facing his back on Shin, and nods at the prime minister to dismiss him. Before leaving, Shoubunkun looks at Shin as if telling him to behave accordingly. It is not a secret to the old man that the relationship of the King and his sword is not normal, not that he is fully against it. His only concern is that Shin acts so obvious about it like he doesn’t care what anyone would think of the two of them. There are days that Sei had to slap Shin’s hand away from his waist, and hand when the latter wouldn’t just stop touching him everywhere even in public. Everything about them escalates behind closed doors anyway.

Once they’re alone, Shin smiles at his lover. “Sei, what’s up?” It’s been a while since they last saw each other and he can’t conceal how much he misses Sei. He steps forward to keep their distance closer but Sei steps backward causing him to raise an eyebrow. 

“What’s the matter? We’re alone now.” Shin’s smile widens but the act still bothers him.

“It’s not...nothing,” Sei refuses to look at him which is so unlike him. Shin notices that he is behaving strangely ever since they arrived in Kanyou.

“What’s wrong? You didn’t greet us on the rooftop nor leave a message to meet me later. Is there a problem?” he asked concernedly and it only added to the already building pent up emotions Sei is having. 

“Come on, look at me,” Shin cups his face with one hand and Sei stiffens. Their gazes locked and before he reacts to it, Shin puts a hand behind his waist, their faces are just inches apart.

“Shin, I--” the King pushes him gently and the commander’s confusion skyrockets. This is not the Sei he expected after not seeing each other for a long time.

“Sei,” firmly, he holds Sei’s hands and slightly pouts. “Did I do something?” he asks with a kicked puppy face.

Sei stares at him wordlessly. He feels a pang on his chest for making Shin guilty of something he did not directly do. But the dream or the nightmare still bothers him that it keeps Sei from thinking rationally especially in front of Shin. 

Shin’s slanted eyes are full of vigor, full of love and devotion but that dream made him question if it’s directed towards him, directly for him alone.

_If Hyou is alive, would you still love me?_ Sei wants to ask but the words never escaped his lips. For once, he is afraid that Shin’s answer is something he would not be able to bear.

“I told you, it’s nothing,” he answers deadpan. “These past weeks have been exhausting. That is all.”

Shin blinks but smiles in response. He knows Sei’s duty as a King could be exhausting at all times. 

Even so, his worries never left.

* * *

When Mouten finds Shin staring in the horizon for some long unnecessary time and is behaving as his tongue got cut (let’s get real, the normal Shin has a mouth that never runs out of words.) he instantly knows what he has to do so Mouten flings a bottle of wine towards his friend which Shin caught with ease.

“This isn’t like you,” he comments, plopping down next to Shin as he opens his bottle.

Shin looks at the drink then back at Mouten. “Eh? What’s the occasion?” 

“Occasion?” Mouten sneers and drinks. “It’s more like, what’s your problem?”

He knows that lying to a man with such high intelligence is futile and he is bad at lying anyways. Shin shakes his head and swigs the bottle as he took a sip of the bitter drink. 

“Say, when you and Ouhon…” Mouten and Ouhon’s relationship is far from him and Sei’s. They have no strings attached and more or less have minimal feelings involved when they make love. But Shin has no other person to open up aside from Mouten, for he is sure that he might be the only one who could understand him. 

Mouten snorts,  _ ah, of course, it’s about the King, _ he chuckles inwardly. It is hard to believe that a former peasant like Shin would have a relationship with none other than their King but when he first heard about it from Shin himself, Mouten was not surprised at all. It was different, however, when he told Ouhon about it. The stoic man rarely expresses shock but it took Ouhon a week to digest everything he heard from him. 

“So the King and you fought?” 

He doesn’t need to say another word for Mouten to read what’s going on. 

“Close,” Shin replies, bowing his head in contemplation. “But we didn’t argue or fight or anything at all. It’s just…he’s different.”

“Mhm, different,” Mouten nods, listening eagerly to his friend. This is the tough part when you are in a committed relationship. A lover's quarrel is inevitable and would impact a person’s mood, reason for him to avoid being committed to anyone. But Mouten cannot deny that if he is to be committed with someone, he would like it to be with Ouhon. Unfortunately, he is aware that Ouhon doesn’t feel the same. A stone-cold man like that would hardly be ever tied in a relationship and would rather focus on his duties.

“He’s avoiding me.” Shin says somberly. “And I don’t know why. He wouldn’t tell me either! Sei is the type who is very hard to read.” he complains.

“And you are the type who is really thick.” 

“Yeah,” Shin agrees then jolts in his seat and glares at Mouten. “What the fuck?!”

Mouten bursts out laughing and pats Shin’s arm to calm him down. “I mean, you cannot possibly read his majesty when you are sulking like this. But there is no other way you’ll find out what’s going on if he doesn’t tell you.”

“Yeah!” Shin huffs. Sei knows he’s never good at guessing. He would rather have him scream at his face than be this cold and awkward but Sei isn’t the type to do that either.

Mouten hums and eyes at the liquor. The King seems to be careful with his words. He’s good at it, good at boosting morale and convincing his soldiers to fight. But it doesn’t mean he’s good at expressing feelings. Emotions are something that should be put at the back of the King’s mind to fulfill his duties, not surprising if he is kinda bad at it.

He fumbles the bottle of liquor in his hand and smirks as an idea strikes his mind. Shin may or may not like it but it’s gonna be worth a shot.

* * *

The King can hear the debates of his officials while he sits on the throne but his mind is nowhere near to the topic of today’s meeting. Shoubunkun calls him for the third time and just then Sei turns his attention to the chancellor of the left.

“Pardon, I spaced out,” Sei said and he can feel the confused stares of the men around him.

Lately, it’s been difficult for him to concentrate. There are times that he wants to punch himself for it. _Think rationally, this isn’t like you._ He scolds himself inwardly.

Just then, another presence summoned himself uninvitingly, marching from the entrance of the throne room.

“Yo! Sei!” Shin enters and greets coolly as if there is no ongoing assembly of high ranking officials as if it’s the most normal thing to do. They all turn their heads at the incoming idiot who cannot read the atmosphere questioningly while Shoubunkun smacks his head and decide to give the young man a lecture.

The King on the other hand speaks albeit also confused as to why Shin barges in so suddenly.

“What is it, Shin-dono?” Sei asks in a business-like manner, a mask that he wears when he is in front of his followers around Shin. 

Shin is easier to read than him and Sei knows that he has something in his sleeves for disturbing him amidst a meeting so when the 5000-men commander asks for a crumb of his time ever so casually, Sei decides to talk with him in private.

“What is it?” 

He doesn’t know if Sei will agree to this but Shin is left with no other choice but to try. After all, Sei always hangs out with him and Ten from time to time and he doesn’t think hanging out with his fellow young commanders would raise suspicions from the King of Qin.

“We, eh, I mean,” Shin stutters.  _ Dammit, I should’ve rehearsed about thi _ s. It is Mouten’s suggestion. A plan that only he could do. 

_ Make it appear that it is nothing but an innocent invitation _ \- were Mouten’s exact words. 

“Mouten, Ouhon and I are planning to drink tonight!” he beams, despite the trickling sweat on his forehead because well, he did not expect that it would be this hard. Shin is a bad liar and he bloody knows that Sei can tell whether he is nervous or whatnot.

Sei’s eyebrow twitches, folding his arms over his chest. “And what of it?” he asks.

_ If you asked him to talk with only the two of you, there is a big chance that he will refuse. But if you make it appear that you are going to talk with him around other people, you’ll have more chances to corner him and spill everything out. _ Shin thinks of Mouten’s suggestion. 

“Wanna come?” Shin grins,  _ ah fuck, I hope this works.  _ Sei stares at him blankly as if asking him to repeat what he said. Did Shin shamelessly disrupt their meeting just to invite him to drink with his friends? Sei cannot fathom it.

But it somehow made the royalty smile and now Shin is the confused one.

“For what reason do you think I’ll join you?” Sei inquires.

“Eh, the thing is,” Shin scratches his cheek and looks up, thinking for an excuse. He better convinces him or his efforts to go to the palace like an idiot will go to waste.

“Don’t you think this is a good opportunity to know Mouten and Ouhon? Didn’t you promise to our faces the promotion to general once we succeed to invade Gyou? Come on! There’s no harm in it!” he puts a hand over Sei’s shoulder and smiles nervously, his cheek twitching in its fakeness. 

Sei looks at him dead in the eyes, contemplating everything he just said. 

“I’ll think about it.” the King answers deadpan. “I still need to work for some matters.” 

Shin pauses and clears his throat to cut the growing awkwardness of his actions. “Of course, take your time.” 

It’s not like Sei turned him down at least.

* * *

Nighttime falls and the three of them gathered inside a private place Mouten arranged for their small gathering. It took him a couple of hours to convince Ouhon to be a part of it by using a promise of high-quality wine and food. Ouhon shuts him down a couple of times before ending up agreeing not because he wants to join but for Mouten to stop pissing him off. 

Shin keeps on glancing at the entrance which Ouhon finds palpable. 

“Why aren’t we starting yet? So that I can leave already.” Says Ouhon with an irritated facade.

“Come on now, it’s too early for us to start. Why don’t we talk about something else before we begin?” Mouten replies with a convincing smile lightly tapping Ouhon’s arm but the latter refuses to be touched. 

“Seriously, what’s with the two of you? And who are we waiting for?” Ouhon glares at Shin who is still staring at the entrance obviously waiting for someone to come before they begin. Shin clicked his tongue and his eyebrows met.

“Just sit your ass down and stop complaining every two seconds, geez!” 

Ouhon is about to growl and retaliate in response when Mouten pulls him down his chair. At the same time, they heard a knock from the door before it creaks open revealing none other than the King of Qin.

Mouten pays his respects immediately while Ouhon jolts in surprise at the sudden arrival of their King.

“Y-your majesty,” he kneels after collecting himself, his mind full of questions. 

Shin stands and looks at Sei with unsuppressed happiness. “Sei! Gotta be honest, I didn’t expect you to come-” until Mouten knocks him on his sides and stands to welcome the King properly.

“Your presence honors us.” he bows while Shin is in the process of massaging his sides. Ouhon is still confused and glances at Mouten for an explanation of what is going on later.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Sei replies.

The king sits beside Shin but Shin can feel that he is still maintaining a considerable distance from him. Granted, they are around Mouten and Ouhon but somehow he can feel that there is an invisible wall between them. As they started, Mouten keeps the conversation alive by bringing different topics and since the King of Qin is present, all the stories about him womanizing are not to be mentioned, something Ouhon is grateful for.

Shin talked about their past campaigns along with the funny and dangerous encounters they met on the battlefield. Sei heard some of it already while Mouten laughs at some parts and Ouhon listens and also gives sarcastic remarks which always resulted in bantering and Mouten would try to calm them down before it leveled up into a drunken fistfight.

Few hours had passed and they downed several bottles as everyone is soon to hit their limits. Mouten is starting to get flirty with Ouhon, touching the other man here and there while Sei remains dangerously quiet beside Shin.

“Oi Shin, let’s call it a night,” Ouhon suggests as he grabs Mouten’s hand, feeling embarrassed in front of the King. 

“Alright, it’s time for us to go too.” Shin stands, he is tipsy but he is confident that he can still ride a horse to bring Sei back into the palace. Shoubunkun is surely waiting for his return. 

“Sei, come on--” he frowns, noticing that Sei’s eyes look soulless, staring at him from his seat. “What’s wrong?” he asks. Sei is never a lightweight and is sure that he isn’t drunk yet.

Ouhon and Mouten who are arguing about something trivial on the sides stop as their attention is caught by the next thing they heard from the King.

“...do you really love me, Shin?”

There is a pin-drop silence in the four corners of the room as Shin’s voice dies in his throat. Where did this question come from? Mouten, who is initially drunk, quickly returns to his right mind when he hears it.

“Oh,” he then hisses something to Ouhon saying they should leave first while the poor Ouhon who has not received any answer on what is going on since they started drinking remained confused as hell. “We’re going now, take care of his majesty, see you tomorrow, Shin!” he waves goodbye as he pulls Ouhon outside the room with the other man snarling like a cat. 

Once they’re left alone, Shin composed himself and thinks that maybe he just misheard Sei a bit. He reaches for his arm and gently pulls him but the King could not stand straight and lose his balance until Shin catches him.

“Hold on to me, Sei. I’ll bring you back to the palace safe and sound, don’t worry.” Shin smiles.

Sei looks down, his face pinkish, and only nods in response. They did not talk along their way to the palace which makes Shin worried. This might be the first time he saw Sei get drunk and his cold facade turns even colder. He even thought that it must have been Mouten’s doing but he also trusts that he won’t do such drastic measures like putting something in Sei’s drink. The original plan is for him and Sei to talk but none of it happened tonight. Even so, Shin cannot call their plan a failure with him spending time with his beloved. 

They reached the palace after a few minutes and just like what he expected, Shoubunkun is on the entrance waiting for their majesty’s return.

“Your Majesty!” “the older man scampers to his feet and looks at the other young man.  “Y-your majesty? Are you alright?” Shoubunkun asks worriedly and glances at Shin for an answer upon seeing that Sei is having trouble keeping his balance.

“We drank a bit and uh,” Shin stammers, holding the king. “I’ll take him to his room now, dontcha worry old man,” he assures.

“Shin--”

“I’m okay, Shoubunkun,” Sei disclosed. “It is...my fault for not watching my intake,” his voice is a bit cracked but his aura is still dignified nonetheless, something that makes Shin admire him more.

As the two walk away, Shoubunkun barks orders at the palace servants to bring the majesty a hot cup of tea in his room first thing in the morning.

“I’m sorry, didn’t know that wine is stronger than I assumed.” Shin apologizes, putting Sei’s arm around his neck and holding his waist with his other hand. “Mouten drinks a lot but is always the first one to get drunk, ka ka ka, that bastard.” he chuckles. 

Sei is silent as if his mind is somewhere else.

“Sei, you know, I am thinking about us lately,” 

Only their footfalls could be heard along the wide hallway of the palace.

“Are you mad at me? I know I already asked you this but…”

They paused and Sei stares at him like he is penetrating his very soul.

“I asked you,” the King removes his arm away from Shin. “Do you love me?” 

“EH?” Shin is taken aback, just earlier he thought he misheard the question but now it doesn't seem like it. “What are you talking about?”

“Just answer,” Sei demands like giving orders to one of his men but the rigidity of his tone is tougher and at the same time perplexing.

But it didn’t make Shin step back and instead hold him tightly. “Sei, what kind of question is that? Of course I do! You know that don’t you?” it must be the alcohol talking right now for Shin to answer such a stupid question.

Sei closes their distance and gazes deep within his eyes. “If Hyou is alive, would you still do? Would you still love me?”

The question struck him like a meteor plunging right to his head. Shin’s eyes widens. He wants to believe that he misheard him again, he wants to believe that this is not happening, that Sei is making him choose between himself and Hyou.

“When you look at me like that,” Sei’s eyes softened. The boldness of helplessness is vibrant in those brown orbs. "...do you see me or do you see Hyou?” 

Shin for once never thought a day like would come. He never thought about it. Ever. 

Hyou is someone irreplaceable to him. They grew up together, trained together, slept together for years. His first friend, his first love. A part of him took interest in Sei because they look alike, that is one thing he cannot deny but even so, he never thought of Sei as a substitute of someone he can no longer have. Hyou and Sei may share the same face but they are different, too different to compare. 

Incoming footsteps take him back to his senses, must be the patrolling guards inside the palace. Shin took the initiative to pull Sei inside his room before he could say something scandalous under the influence of alcohol. 

“Sei-”

“Answer me,” there is nothing but pain in his voice. “I just want to know.” it is the first time Shin hears his voice cracking like he is about to cry and it causes him to panic.

“What the hell?!” Shin glowers, unable to contain his own confusion. “Why are we even arguing about this? Hyou is gone and you’re all I have now.” 

“That’s the point, Shin. I just want to know. What if he didn’t die?”

“Is this why you’re cold in the past few days?” Shin asks back. “Is this what’s going on in your mind?”

“Yes.” Sei answers truthfully. “Yes, it is. It’s absurd, but I..I had a dream, a world where Hyou is alive and you-”

All of a sudden, Sei felt a tug pulling him close to the other man and lips locked, shutting him off completely as Shin placed his hand at the back of Sei’s head. 

  
"Stop," Shin unlatched their lips. "You have no idea, don't you?" the commander caresses the royalty’s cheek delicately by his fingertips. Thinking how Sei has been doubting his love pains him. Shin always thought that the love he gives is enough although they’ve always been apart. 

"Here I am always missing you and that's what you think about me?" he sighs sadly. 

"Shin..." 

He drags his King on the bed and locks their lips. Now he is above Sei. His medium-length ebony hair splayed on the white mattress with some of its strands sticking on his neck. Sei’s mouth is agape from his actions.

“You and Hyou are different,” he says, staring back at Sei. “Never did I think of you as a plain substitute for him.”

The King gazes at his lover and before long, pulls him for a kiss thus continuing what they’re doing earlier.

Shin begins to tilt his head for better access to nip the lower part of Sei’s lips and goes down to his neck planting kisses hungrily. To hell with ‘not leaving marks’. They haven't been together for a long while and he wants to have Sei terribly during those painfully long campaigns. 

The King moans softly to his ear as Shin removes their clothes. Sei’s couple of layers are quite troublesome to unlace especially in their tipsy state. In return, Sei grabs his clothes and detaches it from Shin’s body as though not caring if he ends up destroying it.

Shin slips his tongue inside Sei’s mouth which is now wet and warm, enticing him even more. The King wraps his legs around the commander’s waist as they deepen the kiss making both of them hard. 

“I want you inside me, Shin.” Sei mumbles. 

He pauses, hovering his gaze around Sei below him and smirks. “Didn’t know you can be this needy when you’re drunk,” Shin teases, unsure if Sei understands what he just said from his drunken state. It is the first time he had seen Sei act like this. Maybe Mouten’s plans didn’t fail at all.

“But I like it,” the warrior smiles and nibbles the King’s shoulder. 

Without warning, Shin spreads Sei’s legs and thrusts him with his full length making him arch his body matching Shin’s movements. More illicit moans filled the room as Shin aggressively pushed himself into the King.

Sei hugs him closer and tighter, his nails digging on Shin’s scarred back. Above him is a body carved by countless battles, his palms touching numerous old scars. Their hearts pound inside their chests at the sensation as their craving for each other’s warmth is finally granted once again. Shin goes faster and deeper and slams his body into his beloved making Sei sees stars, throwing his head backward in every pound of his lover. 

As they both come, Shin screams his name. He lifts Sei and flips him on top of him before collapsing. 

“I love you, Sei,” Shin whispers, kissing the other’s forehead. 

It is the last thing Sei heard before falling asleep.

* * *

His head throbs and his hand on a familiar chest beside him. Sei opens his eyes as the sunlight coming from the windows wakes him up and sees Shin peacefully sleeping next to him. They’re naked from head to toe and he carefully rises to not wake up his lover and reaches for a plain white robe to cover himself then sits at the edge of his bed. He looks at Shin vividly, trying to remember what happened before they end up sleeping together. 

Sei raised a hand to massage his temple. A blurry memory of drinking with the three commanders. The wine prepared last night was undoubtedly strong. He isn’t the type who gets inebriated by regular alcohol. He remembers having a little argument about something very stupid with Shin which makes him swear to never drink again. 

“Shin,” he shakes the body next to him lightly and shakes him more when he doesn't get a response until Shin grunts and breathes out with his eyes still closed. 

“..Mmh?” 

“Wake up,”

Shin slowly opens his eyes and smiles upon seeing Sei.

“Mhmmmorning Sei.” 

The King hands him a white robe identical to what he is wearing. “You might catch a cold.” he said simply. 

As he stands and turns his back, Shin grabs his wrist and pulls him back forcefully into his bed.

Shin chuckles and catches him with his arms. “What were you saying last night?”

Sei tries his best to free himself from his lover’s strong arms to no avail. “Shin, unhand me. I have important meetings today--”

“Eh? Why are you avoiding me again Sei?” Shin teases with an eat-shitting grin. “Just last night you were being so pushy and -umf!” 

Sei plops a hand to cover his mouth. The very thought of hearing the terrible question he threw on Shin last night will haunt him. Oh, the embarrassment and shame of acting so out of his character. Sei wants to bury that memory forever and he hopes Shin will forget it too, which unfortunately isn't gonna happen.

“Just forget what I said last night,” Sei says blushing in embarrassment. “I was drunk, I was out of my mind.”

Shin grasps his hand to uncover his mouth and pulls Sei for an embrace. 

“Shin-”

“Listen,” there is urgency deep within his voice which makes Sei freeze within his arms. “Look at me,” Shin smiles, his forehead leaning on Sei’s. “The love I had for Hyou and you is the same. But it doesn’t mean that I see you as for him. You two are different. Although you have the same face.”

Their eyes locked and Sei feels surging guilt on how he acted. To be fair, the alcohol is partly to be blamed for that although it definitely helped expose his hidden sentiments for the past few weeks. For so long that they’ve been together, never did Shin screamed another name when they make love other than him and even when he sleep-talk. It makes him feel bad that he made it appear that he doesn’t fully trust the loves he gives, the loyalty and adoration he shows every time they see each other, and the promises he continues to keep. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” he murmurs apologetically, bowing his head.

Shin takes his hand and kisses each of his fingertips. Honeyed whispers soon followed on how much he missed Sei.

“Nah,” he shakes his head. “I probably didn’t make it clear to you beforehand that’s why you doubted me. I’m sorry too,” 

Sei is about to say that it is all his fault and that he has nothing to apologize when Shin speaks again.

“Although, I think I like it when you’re drunk.” he laughs, tightening his embrace. “The King of Qin getting jealous like that? Who would have thought? Ka ka ka.”

Sei rolls his eyes but smiles trying to get away from Shin’s grip to no avail. The next thing, he finds himself lying flat on his bed with Shin towering him.

“I told you I have matters to attend, _Shin-dono,_ ” the King pressed but his words fell on deaf ears as the commander on top of him smirks.

“How about another round before I go?” Shin asks and from the sound of it, Sei knows he cannot say no. Not when the other male is on his way of planting butterfly kisses on his neck.

“You’re such an idiot,” Sei says touching his lover’s cheeks.

“I am your idiot,” Shin responds before leaning in again for a kiss on his lips. 

“Forever.” 

* * *

The day that the Qin army begins the invasion of Zhao’s western lands comes. Before that, Shin asks him to deliver the late general’s glaive that is in his possession. Soon as the sun cracks in the sky, the assigned generals and the supreme commander of the armies are announced and Sei goes his way in the middle of the procession to meet with Shin.

The rest of the Hi Shin Unit finds their captain staring forwards and collectively gasps at the incoming young man.

“Sorry about this, making ya come all the way out here, Sei.” he greets and his men kneel to pay respect to the King. “Don’t you go kneeling here, you’ll back up the procession! Hurry up and get moving” Shin orders and Sei stares at him in disbelief, surprised that he is not champing at the bit as much as he expected. They talked for a while casually as Bihei and the others gawked at them. They know the two are quite close and share some kind of relationship that they couldn’t fully grasp but they also are not in any position to talk about it in front of Shin and much more of their King. Then again, they can only wonder. 

Sei orders one of his men to give Shin the general’s glaive which makes Bihei cry in joy. The others make an exciting noise because finally, they will see their captain wield general Ouki’s glaive on the battlefield.

“What’s the hold up, Shin-dono? You're holding up the rear!” a soldier complains from afar until he spots the King together with the commander. “Ah! Your Majesty!”

“Looks like I better get moving, Sei,” Shin’s horse trots away slowly, albeit he is still looking back at Sei, unable to tear their gazes away. His duty as a warrior separates him from Sei, both unsure when they are going to be able to see each other’s faces again. But they both knew that in every separation, in every blood that spilled, the closer they got in their goal to unify China.

“Shin,” Sei calls and the other man pauses. Seeing how the soldiers’ loved ones gave hugs and kisses openly to their beloved makes him envious sometimes. If only he could give Shin the same thing out in the open. Nevertheless, he knows they will reunite again and the only thing he can do right now is to wait and trust.

“May good fortune be with you.” 

Shin smiles and raises the glaive on his hand, swearing to give him Riboku’s head.

“Hi Shin Unit move out!” he barks as they depart. 

Sei watches his back, the back that’s been always protecting them, _protecting him_. Now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t thanked the person he should be thanking for having Shin yet.

“Your Majesty, let us return,” a royal guard suggests and the King of Qin nods.

A soft breeze passes by and Sei looks up at the deep blue sky. 

_ Thank you, Hyou.  _


End file.
